Five years ago, almost to the day, one of my angels who I hadn't connected with in awhile , inspired me to take a deep look at myself and my life. As you learn more about me, you will learn that the people in my life who have profoundly influenced, supported or encouraged me at pivotal moments in time, these people I consider my angels. Some are people I've known and some are complete strangers, but all have given me that glimmer of faith, hope, grace or love that I needed in the given moment. The conversation we had was relatively simple. What music was I listening to, favorite movies, what I was doing in my free time, what goals I was excited to pursue. What I realized was my answers were things that had been interesting to me five or more years prior! How could I not know what should be basic facts about myself? I used to be hip and current! What happened?! The reality was that I had given every ounce of myself to others. Now, that doesn't sound like a bad thing and I truly don't regret it, but I completely left myself behind in the process. I remember a specific moment cleaning up after dinner in my kitchen. At this time I had two children, one on the way, a husband, family and job that I was giving all of my time and energy to. I was overweight, overtired and uninspired. I seriously remember thinking maybe this is "it". What people aspire to. "Adulting", if you will. When I really let that sink in, I decided THAT WAS NOT OK! People shouldn't have to give up their dreams or passions for the sake of loving others. I had to take matters into my own hands and figure out who I was and even more importantly who I wanted to become. For the record, I don't think you reach a final destination of knowing you'v achieved that. I think a huge part of being true to yourself is knowing it's a journey. Like any journey you will encounter different paths and different seasons that make it ok for you to change what you want out of life. I don't believe that it's necessary or healthy to expect yourself to always stay the same and not to evolve. Knowing your true self takes a lot of learning and a lot of growing. I think the best part about figuring out what fuels your fire is how fun it is! I discovered I loved to run. Yes, I just said LOVE to run! The challenge, the endorphins, alone time, being in nature...so my thing! This new passion has allowed me to witness countless sunrises and sunsets that have literally made me stop and feel so present and grateful for life. Music has also become such a big part of who I am. How great is it to hear a song and it meets you exactly where you are in life?! Or hearing something that just makes you want to sing loud or dance?! Best feeling ever. What was remarkable and reassuring, was that embarking on a journey to discover more about myself didn't take me away from the people in my life. It actually made me better. For me and for them.
My angel definitely helped me with igniting the spark, but I am solely responsible for keeping my light shining bright. When (and there are times) it dims, I simply rely on my current passions or the pursuit of new ones to help fuel that fire even more. Go to a concert, create a playlist, workout, laugh with my children, journal, read an inspiring book, have coffee with friends, dance on tables (yes, I totally said that), watch a movie or travel. Your passions can be as simple or big as you can dream them and as diverse as you feel like. Somedays I want to cuddle my kids other days I want to run 13 miles to fuel that fire. It can change with the tide. My challenge to you is this...do something every single day that helps that spark stay lit and that makes you happy to be alive. You are so worth it. -M