It's birthday week...I say with the biggest grin on my face! Remember when you were little and your birthday was the biggest damn deal? My mom always had a theme for the cake based on what my greatest interest was that year. I remember a big bird cake, a strawberry shortcake one and even a cake with shopping bags on it. Then birthdays became a celebration of reaching certain milestones. Sweet sixteen...I had hoped Jake Ryan from "Sixteen Candles" was going to appear sitting on a glass table telling me to" make a wish" with his dreamy eyes, killer wardrobe and red Porsche in my driveway. Despite his absence from the big day, however, it still felt a little magical. Eighteen brought the confidence of running out to get my voter registration card signed on that day. Yes, I was and always will be that political dork. Sorry, not sorry! ha! Twenty-one was, well, somewhat forgettable but only due to the large amounts of alcohol consumed. The celebratory nature, however, I will never forget. These were all celebrations of life and milestones that brought excitement, confidence and just pure happiness. As we get older, we tend to put a different spin on our birthday. It becomes "How did I get so old?" or the nonchalant attitude of "it's just another day". I'm here to declare the end of negatively or passively expressing or accepting that kind of birthday attitude. Two years ago, I was celebrating my birthday with an undiagnosed tumor in my left breast. I was going through the initial stages of testing to diagnose the lump that I had found. I remember that birthday so vividly. I tried to be festive...but deep down I knew something was so, so wrong. Last year, I was a little more celebratory, but I think I was still a little shell shocked from what had transpired that year. Chemo, radiation, surgery and literally being on my deathbed 4 months earlier. My mind was messy and my spirit a little trapped. So here I am...this year...ready to shout it from the damn rooftops that I AM HERE!! I made it another year and I get to see 42. Honest to goodness, there have been moments that I didn't think I would make it here. I am grateful for the air in my lungs, the problems I get to solve, the adventures that await, the relationships that have yet to bloom and the time I have to live this life here with all of you. I don't ever foresee me feeling down about getting older from here on out. Every year, hell every day that passes feels like the greatest gift I could have ever received. It sounds so cliche'. but I truly feel that type of gratitude down to my bones. It is profoundly in the forefront of my mind each morning when I wake up and each night as I drift off to sleep. Cancer sucks, but without it I don't think I could be feeling this childlike bliss about turning another year older. For that, thank you. This last year was filled with ups and downs, but I've come out from it stronger, happier, more eager and with a much bigger heart with so much love to give than ever before. I've put myself out there to be vulnerable and learn life altering lessons time and again. This person I'm becoming needed the darkness to see and appreciate all of the light shining in my eyes today. My body is healing, the cobwebs in my mind have been clearing and I'm genuinely excited to see where my journey takes me next. I'm determined to keep on rising from the ashes and fulfill my life's purpose. So let's raise our glasses to a new year and new opportunities. Thank you for being on this ride with me. I feel your love, spirit and support. We've got lots of living and loving yet to do! As Atticus once said..."I hope to arrive at my death late, in love and a little drunk!". Cheers, babe! -M XOXO
