I sat at my youngest son's preschool graduation fighting back the tears this week.. Happy ones this time! The funny part is that even though they considered it a preschool "graduation" celebration, he is simply graduating to the 4/5 year old preschool program for next year! haha! The poor dude isn't really moving on and "graduating" yet! (insert laughing face emoji) Despite this, the pomp and circumstance was alive and well and I still found myself smiling with pride as my little guy sang his heart out during the program. He proudly walked over to receive his "diploma" and my eyes welled with gratitude. I kid you not, the voice in my head uttered these words... "I am so happy to be living to see this." I'm pretty sure, if asked, most parents in the room would agree they too were happy to witness this exciting event, I also would assume, most don't actually have that specific thought in the moment. The upside or downside to cancer survivorship is that absolutely everything is a BIG DAMN DEAL!! Most people my age aren't experiencing every high and low in life as an all out gift like I am. I suppose that is something to be grateful for because that type of perspective and gratitude only comes with profound experience, as well as, sincere reflection. Today, I am grateful for my cancer journey. Yes...I am blessed to know the it's not only big moments that can fill up so much space in my heart, but it's the little, somewhat trivial moments that do as well. I'm finding that even bad experiences make me feel like I'm winning, because what I'm learning from them is how I want to move forward. How I want to live an authentic life being true to what makes me "me"! This week I noticed the beautiful flowers budding on the tree outside of my daughter's dance studio. They were mesmerizing. I had a free moment to take a ride to my favorite boutique in a neighboring town.
I was listening to my favorite playlist while sipping on an iced latte enjoying every second of the ride. That sun shining, music blasting, new shoes and dress wearing hour of my life brought me nothing but joy and I was grinning from ear to ear. I love it that I can acknowledge moments like this as just pure bliss. Granted, there are days that cancer is the greatest burden I have ever endured, clearly. I'm proud, however, that despite this, I can see it as truly a gift and know that it has allowed me to view milestones and moments as so much more than meets the eye. For that, I am changed and forever grateful. -M